Carmageddon, Water Falling from the Sky, and the Shopping Habits of Stars

For a place with such a laid-back reputation, there sure are a lot of big deals made over small stuff in L.A.  Shouldn’t that be expected, though?  When you concentrate so many drama-majors in such a small area, is it any surprise that drama rules? 

Almost every newbie to L.A. stands frozen, jaw dropped at least momentarily the first time they see the news coverage about a little water falling from the sky and wetting the concrete of the L.A. River -- “STORM WATCH 2011!!!  Quick!  Find!!  Your!!!  Umbrella!!!!  Before it’s TOO LATE!!!!!  You might want to rethink your weekend plans because the roads will be... [duh, duh, duh...] damp.” 

Now we have CARMAGEDDON!!!!!  It’s the end of life as we know it in the Southland, and because WE are the center of everything, the devastation could be far-reaching.  I’ve heard reports on how the economies of the entire world will be upset by this temporary glitch in the traffic grid so close to LAX (Los Angeles International Airport).

Some have compared the hoopla over this weekend’s closure of a small segment of the 405 Freeway to the Y2K scare.  I think it’s even bigger than Y2K--because Y2K belonged to the entire world, but this--this is our own personal disaster--and if it’s all about us, it’s gotta be BIG!!! 

Friends from the Midwest often ask me, “How can you stand it?”  Well, you know what?  I actually find it charming.  It’s like that silly friend in junior high who never quite got the jokes, but was a hoot to have around just for the entertainment value of her clueless gaze and delayed reactions.  (Yep, that was me, and I even fell for that line about how “they’re really not laughing at you, they’re laughing with you.”)  So, LA-LA Land is home, and I finally fit in.  My dramatic exaggerations don’t seem so out of place.  And even if it looks like we’re all taking ourselves way too seriously here, we do get the irony of it all... eventually.


P.S.  Don't tell any of the locals that the traffic isn't really that bad out there... until Sunday night....  The media scare tactics worked, the gullible are boarded up in their apartments, and the streets are wide open for the daring, the brave, the heroic, the [duh, duh, duh...] the unemployed actor who just realized he's out of Pop Tarts and decided to brave the scary streets of L.A. to restock before tonight's Carmageddon Staycation Marathon.