A few years ago, a friend gave me a lovely birthday gift. Knowing how much I enjoy the movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's, she gave me a book entitled How to be Lovely: the Audrey Hepburn Way of Life (by Melissa Hellstern). As I glance at my shelf and wax philosophical, I am drawn to focus on one word in that title: "Be." "Be" is a very present sort of word. It doesn't say "How to Become Lovely." The implications of these words are distinctly different. The difference ties in with this insight on yearning:
"Yearning is not only a good way to go crazy but also a pretty good place to hide out from hard truth." (from an old Creative Screenwriting email: Jay Cocks, the screenwriter of De-Lovely)
If one of the functions of yearning is an avoidance of truth, focusing too much on what we want to become someday off in the future can serve as an excuse (distraction) for not being what we want to (or should) be now.
It reminds me of a philosophy class I took years ago. As my friends and I worked on our final papers for the class, I realized that being caught up in the "search" for truth was actually keeping some of us away from believing anything in the present. It was as though the very search--the yearning--became a beloved idol-god that mocked any definite belief.
Obsession over the search, the yearning, can keep a person from appreciating or embracing the present--that which is as clear as day... while the one who has become a slave of yearning is constantly drawn to looking in the shadows for life.
"For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles." (Romans 1:20-23)
Yearning determines vision--where we direct our sight.
"We look for the next reason to be happy. What if it is not about what happens to us, what we own or where we live, but how we look at it? Maybe those rose-colored glasses aren't such a bad idea after all." (Melissa Hellstern, How to Be Lovely)
As an artist, I find myself often yearning for the perfect expression. In the frustration of trying to become something that I am not yet, it's easy to become cynical and start looking at the world through darkened lenses.
I need to remember that it's not about becoming, but rather about being. It is through being that we become... and being comes from clearly seeing:
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such..." (Phil. 4:8)
